Every day, a new listicle pops up on our screens, promising the “10 Things Women/Men Really Want,” “5 Things You Should Look For in a Woman/Man,” or “7 Things That Make a Man/Woman a Great Catch”. Whether they’re oriented toward what to do to attract a person or what a person should look for in another—two sides of the same coin—they all list qualities that, presumably, you are looking for in a partner, or that you should be looking for. In this post, I want to explore the idea that, regardless of how admirable and deep the items on these lists go, there is only one quality you should be looking for.
What gets women hot?
Most of us do not analyze what exactly turns us on; arousal just seems to happen. It can appear at the strangest of times, coming upon us with the most unsuitable partners or taboo acts. Or arousal can be more predictable, with the heat coming from a favorite alluring sex scene in a movie or book.
We may have a general impression of what type of man (or woman) we are attracted to, or maybe even know what sexual acts we like. But outside of those vague ideas, sexual arousal is like a black box -- we know it when we experience it, but the inside workings elude us.
Research has determined women's arousal to be 'complex', but has little to say about the specifics. Until the '60s, women were believed to be sexually aroused only by the feminine aspects of sex such as intimacy and soft touch, when Alfred Kinsey (Sexual Behavior in the Human Female), Nancy Friday (My Secret Garden) and Shere Hite (The Hite Report) reported that women's fantasies were often as bold and "dirty" as men's were.
More recently, we have seen women finding 50 Shades of Grey driving them to act on a newfound sexual arousal.
So, what actually does turn women on?
A situationship is basically a pseudo-relationship. A placebo masking itself as a formative relationship. It smells like a relationship, it sorta looks like a relationship, and it may even feel like one, but it’s not. Urban Dictionary describes a situationship as any problematic relationship characterized by one or more unresolved, interpersonal conflicts. usually confused with dating. The overall dating climate is changing and formalities are harder to find. Instead there’s this awkward meandering through something that feels like something that leads to sex that may or may not be something that continues for a time until one party wants to make it an official something.
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